The Realness of the Heart

The Heart-2

What is in your heart?
How are you guarding or guiding it?

Life catches us off guard a lot and it is in those moments when we really see what is in our hearts.  Every day we try to put on a smile and put our best foot forward in those areas that we think we need to be moving in but let one thing that wasn’t in the “plan” go wrong then the heart starts to tell on you.  When my heart was exposed recently it hurt, it hurt like hell and took me by complete surprise.  I thought that a lot of things had been dealt with but being hurt in a way that you weren’t prepared for will bring everything that you haven’t dealt with all the way to the surface.  Everything in my heart was shown to me and all of it wasn’t pretty in fact some of it was kind of scary.  So I had to take a step back and I am still taking that step back to take inventory of my heart and what is in it.  I honestly thought that I had forgotten how to love until it was tested.  In those tested moments I realized how much I love and how deep I love.  Before then I questioned whether or not I even loved myself like I should to be able to love others.

I’ve mentioned before about letting go of God’s hand and trying to live this life on my own yeah well that didn’t get me too far.  But these days I bet God is rolling His eyes and saying “yo give me some space lady” and I ain’t gone do it.   I am holding on to Him for dear life.  I am always talking to Him and seeking Him.  When you are in that place you don’t believe that good can be in your heart because all you feel is the pain that you are going through so you feel envy, jealousy, mistrust, resentment and other negatives.  You are always angry or mad about something that is really nothing oh and the crying ugh cry at any given moment.   Taking a step back has allowed me to start the process of working through all of these things that have hindered me and I have started to see the brightness of my heart again.  Even now when people point out the bright spots I now believe them and see them myself.  Crazy what some time to yourself and giving your heart back to God can do for you.  It hasn’t been an easy process.  Everyday I pray God show me me – the good, the bad, and the ugly – so that I can work on it one piece at a time.  It’s hard to deal with the bad and the ugly but if you don’t know that they are there and don’t spend time working on them you will get caught off guard when they surface again and they will surface it is just a matter of time.

So I ask you to take some time and evaluate your heart…ask God to expose you to yourself.  I had to deal with mine in front of people and it wasn’t comfortable at all probably 10 times worse than if I had dealt with them before something happened to bring them out.  Take time for you to know you and grow, you will be grateful for it later.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

Psalms 139:23-24

This month I deemed as being faithful and rebuilding, I have to start and continue with my heart.  Its what makes me move and do what I do.  Rebuilding my faith within my heart is necessary to my next moves and continuing the building and rebuilding process within me.  I want to be completely genuine in all areas of my life and that process starts with me and my heart.  As hard as it gets at times, I don’t think that I would trade this process or experience in for anything in the world.

I dare you to search your heart and repair the areas that you need to live a more fulfilling life.  It will be worth all of the moments good and bad.

Get in touch if you need some encouragement during this process, you don’t have to do it alone.

Talk to you again soon

Zony

P.S.  Quick THANK YOU to all of those that have been in my corner during this process.  I know that I haven’t been the easiest person to deal with and I appreciate you all for not giving up on me and pushing me through.

Save

Save

Prayer Time

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come to you this week just full of thanks and gratefulness for bringing me through another week.  I thank you for keeping us all and guiding us through.  I thank you for allowing us to see the start of a new week and get prepared.  I thank you for showing us you in the little things around us.  I thank you for sending the right people for us to guide us, to comfort us, to provide wisdom and guidance.  I thank you for your unconditional love, for your forgiveness, for your peace, for you grace and mercy, and for YOU most of all.  I thank you for your presence in our lives even when we try to avoid you.  I thank you for continuing to be the head of our lives even when we think we running things.  I thank you for never leaving nor forsaking us.  I thank you…I thank you.  I pray that this week will be full of you.  I pray that you will cover us and keep us.  I pray that your guidance and wisdom surrounds us.  I pray for your peace to fill our lives.  I pray for the families in Milwaukee who have lost loved ones.  I pray that you will comfort them.  I pray that your presence is felt around them.  I pray that you bring peace, love and restoration back in the city.  I pray for those that are in Louisiana right now suffering loss.  I pray that you will cover them.  I pray that you will send the help that they need.  I pray that the water recedes back into its normal areas and the city is able to be restored.  I pray that you will continue to be with this world.  I pray that you will bring peace into this world.  I pray that your presence is felt more than ever in this world.  That this world will seek you more than ever.  I pray that you will continue to guide us and protect us even from ourselves. I thank you oh God for your presence.  I pray that this week will be an amazing week.  I pray that we will hear from you and see you this week.  I pray for those that are seeking a breakthrough this week.  I pray for those that are seeking promotion this week.  I pray for those seeking healing and good report from the doctor.  I pray for those that are just in a stuck place and just need that extra push Lord God.  I thank you for you, I thank you for being the head of our lives, I thank you for never leaving us.  I thank you for you.  I pray that this week is productive, creative, prosperous, joyous, loving, and all things positive.  Restore families, restore friendships, restore relationships, restore homes, restore peace around us oh God.  I thank you once again and it is in Jesus name that I do pray…

Amen.

Fear = Stuck

Fear Equals Stuck

I am not a fan of being scared but I have been scared of everything it seems like for the better part of my life and that fear has had me stuck.  I used to always refer to myself as a scary person and I really meant it.  I realize that I have missed out on so much in life because I was scared to make the moves that I needed to make.  You know the saying “No risk No reward”, I wasn’t risking anything and I definitely wasn’t getting rewarded.  Moving to Atlanta was the first major risk that I took in my life but I got here and froze.  I got in a place of complacency and got off track from doing what I planned to do when I moved here.  I often had thoughts of just moving back to South Carolina but what would I say if I moved back … “It got too hard”, “”Atlanta just wasn’t for me”, “I really belong in the country anyway,” “I want to be near my family,” and so many other excuses. Truth is my pride has kept me in Atlanta and my pride has kept me complacent. Sucks right…

I am a super prideful person and I don’t ever want to fail at anything so I don’t start a lot of things for fear of failing or not finishing it.  Pride has kept me in a box for most of my adult life.  It wasn’t until 2010 when I took a chance and went skydiving with a friend and I realized that there is so much that I need to be doing and should be doing.  Although I remained stuck for a little while longer…

Change doesn’t happen over night you know… (rolls eyes at myself lol)

But if I can jump out of a plane at 14,000 ft up then I probably shouldn’t be scared to do anything else? Well ok…

Fast forward to now and I am still fearful of things, of making the moves that I need and want to make but I know that if I don’t make them that I will be once again stuck in wishing, hoping and wanting it to happen without me taking the steps that I need to.

Some of my biggest fears have been…

-Fear of Success…I always think of the line “Mo Money Mo Problems” and who really wants more problems.  I just want to make my family proud and with that comes expectations.  I’ve never wanted to be famous but I do want to leave a legacy and be legendary in my own right.  I want to leave my mark on this beautiful world and if I let fear and pride keep me from it that will suck.  Starting this business has been the biggest risk that I have taken in awhile and I want so badly for it to grow and flourish and become a major force in the life coaching world.  I am working harder than I ever have on anything to make Simply My Purpose amazing and a success.

-Fear of Failure…The opposite of success, I know. But i don’t want to lose anymore than I want to succeed. Everything that I have dreamed of, envisioned, been purposed in me I am scared that I won’t get to it all.  I almost feel like I want too much out of life and I am scared that it will never be enough for me.

-Fear of Marriage…Marriages these days are nothing like my grandparents.  Everyone is so quick to give up and no one wants to put in the work to make it work.  We don’t have that stick and stay mentality.  I want the long lasting love and commitment that they had (both sets). I just want to know that if I’m going hard for you and our relationship that my partner is doing the same. I’m not a hopeless romantic but I am a lover of love and I completely believe in it.  It scares me but I desire to be married but I am in NO hurry to get married any time soon.

There is a scripture that I am holding onto these days very tight and it is …

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

When ever I am ready to give up and stop myself from moving I reflect on this verse and just keep moving.  We aren’t suppose to be scared of making moves, creating moments, and enjoying life.  So don’t let fear catch you up and keep you stuck in a place that you ultimately don’t want to be.  Go Big or Go Home and going home isn’t an option for me.

So I challenge you all to not be scared of anything and to stop letting fear hold you back from living the BOLD life that you were created to live.  I would love to hear from you, comment and let me know what is holding you back from moving forward with your dreams.  I am here to encourage you and help you get out of that box.

Hope to talk to you soon.

Zony

 

Change Is Coming

Change

 One thing that we can definitely count on in life is CHANGE.

If you are a betting person you can bet your last dollar on the fact that change is going to come at some point in your life more than once, twice, three times.  It is always around the corner.  The worst thing that I think you can do is resist it because it only makes things harder for you because it’s going to happen whether your on board or not.  Change means growth in some part of your life.  You can’t be stuck in the same spot all of the time and in my opinion that would get a little boring.

Some ways that I handle change are listed below.

Prayer

Talking to God keeps me grounded during times of change.  I always pray for guidance and vision … “God help me to see what you are doing in my life right now, give me understanding”.  Its a simple prayer but powerful because He always shows me and I may not like what I see but its happening and I just need to go with it.  In the end it is always for my good.

Baby Steps

You don’t have to jump all the way into the change when it starts but you should be taking baby steps to get to the place you are being pushed to.  Don’t resist it!!!

Write

I have written in a journal since I was in elementary school.  I never knew how therapeutic it would be until I got older and realized that God was leading me here.  If you are writing while going through, you are getting your feelings out and if you go back and read some older entries in your journal you will see that you were being led to this point anyway.  There is always a prep we just ignore it sometimes.

Reach Out

I hate to admit it but I have been terrible at this.  I don’t like reaching out to people when I am going through things.  I always have this battle within myself going on when it comes to me calling someone and talking to them about the change I am going through. I have recently started doing it more but it literally takes me days to actually act on calling who I have been led to call.  If I hear it on Monday I am going to be like God I need another sign by Wednesday and I will do it.  It then becomes this anxiety in me that is definitely unnecessary.  However, no man is an island and you need support to help you through because change isn’t easy.  You aren’t meant to go through things alone.

Change is happening all around you and unless you live under a rock (even then the soil changes around you) you will be phased by it.  I haven’t always embraced it but I have settled on the fact that whether I like it or not it is coming.  If there is no change there is no growth and who doesn’t want to continue to grow.

Get excited about the growth that is taking place in your life.  I guarantee you will like where you end up.

Leave me a note letting me know how you handle change.

Talk to you again soon,

Zony

Words of Purpose

words of purpose

Ever want to go back and change somethings about your youth, no regrets but just some tweaks well guess what you can’t go back but you can start right now.  Start right now and be that person that you needed someone to be for you as you were growing up.  You need you but there is someone else out there that needs you as well.  Be that person don’t ever think that it is too late.